I must not kill myself. Killing myself is the myself killer
Some shows. There’s probably more going on this month, I feel like I’m light, numbers wise. Keep eyes peeled for a part two I suppose. The big one I want to highlight is happening so fucking soon. This friday the 6th (a night you probably have free), at the Pillar Forum (probably the Preferred Venue at this point for a number of reasons), four of the best bands in the twin cities are playing (Critterthing, WATCHES, Admiral Fox, Malamiko). Every single band on this lineup is like “go out of your way to see them” good. If one of these bands and three others I didn’t know were playing, I’d still recommend this show. As it is, all four are absolute fucking killers. It’s a MIRAC fundraiser (so are a bunch of the shows on this thing). Go to this goddamn show. This is going to be a special one. I’m going to be there, and god willing I’ll be high out of my mind and processing some fucking emotions.
The dogpark show is gonna fuck. Dyke night vday is gonna fuck. Melpomene is always worth seeing. Go to music.
I’ve also sprinkled in some other events you might find diverting. This is far from an exhaustive list of things you can be doing to resist fascism, but it’s a start. I’d particularly like to hype up the Build Day. The Autonomous Yurt Union people are chill as hell and a really good place to get plugged into some Real Shit. You want to help make an actual measurable difference? They’re a great place to start. Also look into joining a few of the local rapid response or observation networks to help keep our neighbors safe. Going out and doing something works to help things feel a little less bleak almost immediately.
Ok, it’s the “end of the blog bitchfest”, you can skip this last part cuz I don’t have any more announcements.
I can’t think of a time in my life where I’ve felt this stagnant. This much of a failure compared to my friends and loved ones. This like, worthless? I feel pretty dysphoric. I feel like I’m letting people down. It’s not a fun time. I am probably gonna seek out some therapy and maybe meds, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt as suicidal as I do right now. I thought I’d pulled out of it but I’ve been spiraling for a while. I don’t really know what to say. I think I’m gonna be ok eventually but I’m not sure when that will be. I apologize in advance if I’m a little weird to be around. Cut me a little slack if you can. Maybe give me a hug next time you see me.
Try and be kind to yourselves. Keep your chin up. Shit is pretty wild out there, but I know you know that. I want us all to make it through, but I understand wanting to do everything you can to keep people safe. Be smart, but be a good person. Take action when you feel you should. You matter. What you do matters. I love you all.